Swine flu. Run for my life!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
