So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
