Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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