Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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