seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
