So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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