Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize