don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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