Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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