dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize