Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
