You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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