where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize