...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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