He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
