If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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