I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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