Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
