we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
