Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
