hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
