i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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