How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
