I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
