Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
