It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
