Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
