I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
