We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize