...so i touched it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
