If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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