The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
