john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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