I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
