Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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