I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
