hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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