Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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