his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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