I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize