You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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