You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i believe in u and ur pee
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