We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she peed on how many people?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
there is glitter all over my balls
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