there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to make a zoo with you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
