thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
