I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
