It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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