goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
