Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i drank out of a bidet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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