nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
