I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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