you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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