He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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