coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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