love makes seman taste better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
did you just send me my own nude
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize