i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
