You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
