I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
not ubering you a puppy
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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