did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
