I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize