And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize