plz talk dirty to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
