Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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