Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
