If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I believe in your delicious
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
