Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
